


Co-Hosts

by Bouzingo



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: After Yellow Helicopters, Cecil is freaked out, M/M, Strexcorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 07:50:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1002848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bouzingo/pseuds/Bouzingo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil meets Kevin under proper circumstances. Post Yellow Helicopters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Co-Hosts

Two nondescript people stand on either side of Cecil. They wear nicely-tailored suits and the only part of their faces Cecil can readily distinguish is their facial hair. One has a beard, and one has a moustache.

"All right, listen here, Strexcorp _goons_ ," Cecil says, turning in his swivelly chair with what he hopes is a menacing glare. "I think you misunderstand what kind of show we run here. We put lives on the line to make sure the public gets the most up-to-date news possible. Sure, we've made mistakes. We've reported on things that haven't even happened and we've run stories that perhaps we should have edited more to the City Council's liking. But we always report the _truth_ here, no matter how truncated or revised. And I cannot stand for bald-faced lies presented on this program. No. I will not stand for that."

"Are you quite done?" one of them says with a sweet smile. "Of course we don't want to compromise the quality of your program, Cecil! At Strexcorp, we believe accountability is paramount!"

Cecil frowns. This is far too easy.

"So in the interest of quality control, we've decided you need a co-host," the individual with the moustache finishes cheerfully, "after all two heads are better than one!"

"Can I choose my my co-host?" Cecil asks cautiously. He doesn't like this development at all, but perhaps he can spin it to his advantage.

"Well of course. We've already formulated a list of applicants!"

An orange sheet of paper is handed to Cecil. It has only one name on it.

"Who's... Kevin?"

"Oh, you'll get on great!" the bearded one says. "He has a lot of experience, that Kevin, and he's so affable!" You're practically two genetically patented peas in a pod!"

"When can I meet him?"

"Immediately," Moustache says, beaming, and opens the door to the recording booth. There, presumably, is Kevin. Cecil can feel the colour leave his face, and his entire body goes cold.

"Hi there, friend!" Kevin says, and smiles wide, wider than anyone can or should. "I've heard so much about you! Thanks for having me on. What an odd soundboard. How does it operate?"

"I'll be sure to teach you the ropes," Cecil says, mouth dry. "But right now, I need to lock up."

"Of course," Kevin says. "Sorry to keep you late. Mind if I hang around while you do that?"

 _Yes_ Cecil thinks.

"Not at all!" he says with a tight smile. The Strexcorp reps leave, and suddenly Cecil misses them, doesn't want to be alone with the monstrosity whose life he spared in a moment of pity.

"Imagine meeting you again!" Kevin says with that gaping smile. "What a small world we live in! I hope we can be friends."

"I didn't kill you that day because I didn't want to make a liar of myself," Cecil says between grit teeth, "and I will continue to restrain myself. We can get along. But we will not be friends."

"How disappointing," Kevin says, smile faltering. "It sounds like we have a lot in common!"

"We have nothing in common," Cecil snarls. "Nothing important."

"Well I'm sure that will change, and soon. G'Ni-ight!"

Kevin leaves Cecil to finish at the station. When he's done with the daily offering to a forebodingly quiet Station Management, he slips out of the building and runs home.

Carlos is there before him, a rare occurrence, just frowning at some data with more outliers than patterns. He oofs a bit when Cceil barrels into him, hugging him tightly.

"Good to see you too, Cecil," he says with a warm smile. Cecil shudders, and Carlos pulls away for a minute. "Are you okay?"

"No. Nothing will be okay ever again," Ceil says, eyes wide. "I met my double."

"Again? Is this a widespread occurrence?" Carlos asks. Cecil shakes his head. "Oh God, okay, so it's just you."

Cecil has never talked about meeting his double, has only ever volunteered the information that it was awful.

"He's just as _wrong_ as I remember," Cecil says, his eyes wide and frantic. "And now he's here to stay. It's like looking into a warped mirror. How am I supposed to work with him?"

This is the first time in months Cecil has been fazed by anything that goes on in this town. The last time was when he came home completely despondent about Dana. And Carlos is at a loss about what to say, how to comfort Cecil.

"I'll be here, Cecil," he finally says. "No matter what happens."

And he knows it's a useless gesture, but Cecil manages a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that the new episode is out in like two days, so this will all be invalid. But it was in my head!


End file.
